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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d enjoy every minute of time you get to spend with them.[/quote]

You think you would, but would realize it’s really intrusive and disrespectful, as if you’re their property and they can do whatever you want.

OP, you need to set some boundaries. Find some language that isn’t hurtful but clearly sets the boundaries you would like them to respect.[/quote]

I've tried to set boundaries. Do you have suggested language like someone else suggested like "that doesn't work for our schedule"? I've said "we aren't available" or "we are not going to be home". They have come anyway, descended upon the house or kids' games, etc. or rescheduled their flights for a weekend that "works". If we say we have other plans, like we are going skiing or we are attending a friend's wedding, they will make comments about how family is more important and how do we have time for X friend but not our own mother or father? [/quote]

“It seems like you’re upset, Mom.  I will call back later when you’re calmer.”

That last line is just then throwing a tantrum - don’t give in![/quote]

You say, over and over, "That doesn't work for us". You say it again when they resist. You say it over and over and over. Boredom is your secret weapon here.

If they show up uninvited, put them on an information diet. They don't need to know your kids' game schedule or whatever.

When they start getting nasty, say "I'm going to hang up now". Don't reward their behavior with attention-- and negative attention is attention. If they accuse you of not having time for them, say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and don't argue back or defend yourself. Accept that they're going to have a tantrum and that it'll take about a year of this for them to get the message. If you EVEN ONE TIME give in, you're just training them that wearing you down will eventually succeed.

Leave the house when you can, and before you do, disable the water to the whole house. [/quote]

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