Reply to When did you realize that your parents didn't care about you?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "When did you realize that your parents didn't care about you?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My father was a raging, violent, alcoholic narcissist and I knew from a very young age that he only cared about me in as much it was a positive reflection on him.  I  know my mother loves me but not as much as she loves the man in her life.  While, in the moment, she did try to protect my siblings and I from my father, our home life was so f@cked up that the only real way to give us any kind f protection was to remove us from it.  Even if our father shared custody with her - like he did with my older sister and his first wife - at least we would have had one place we could let our guard down.  I'm in my mid-50s and still struggle sometimes with PTSD, especially at night.

My father died when I was 20 (wish it had been sooner) and my mother remarried when I was 26.  Her 2nd DH was a good guy but my mother devoted herself to him in the same way she devoted herself to my father.  I'm sure he had no clue how often she cancelled plans with us to pander to him and his kids (youngest was my age) and grandkids. It was cemented for me when my brother was coming home after being deployed for 2 years in a war zone.  My mother was in Florida with her DH and wasn't planning to come back to our home because her DH's sons were coming for an annual trip. I knew she cared more about her image with her DH's family than with us but that was pretty low. My DH didn't really/believe she held us in such low disregard until after we'd been married 4-5 years. I didn't blame him.  Unless you've lived it, it's hard to believe.  Yet, after one particular incident he witnessed, he was dumbfounded.  It now all made sense to him.

I'm happy to say that I've broken the cycle with my kids.  Although I still suffer from the occasional episodes of PTSD, I'm in a good place with a good nuclear family.  Unfortunately, 3 out of 4 of my siblings aren't so lucky. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics