Reply to Teen friend self-mutilating - books to help my teen understand and support

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd tell my child it's indicative of severe childhood trauma, for example sexual abuse, and that child needs professional help, and just kindness from her friends.  The best way your child can support her is kindness.  There's no logic to cutting oneself.  Why buy a book teaching about it???  I wouldn't even give it any validation.  It's destructive the behavior.  I'd also be concerned what your child is being exposed to at that house.  What's going on over there?[/quote]

While some people who have experienced severe trauma will self harm, it is used by people whose life stresses exceed their coping skills. The APA says gay and bisexual youth are at increased risk for self harm, as well as children who have experienced bullying. Rather than judging the family of a child who is suffering, you might benefit from learning more about why people resort to this behavior: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2015/07-08/who-self-injures[/quote]

Thank you, PP. I found the previous comment awful. Nothing is going on in my house but trying to love my children and help them grow into adults. I happen to have one who has been dealing with perfectionism, anxiety and then depression and fell into a very negative coping mechanism. Drinking and drugs are also negative coping mechanisms. They are all hard and scary. There is no trauma, no abuse or neglect, everything appears wonderful from the outside (which is part of the problem) and my teen just doesn't know what to do with their constantly running mind. The answer has been therapy and eventually a medication, and spending time enjoying friends and family.  [/quote]

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