Reply to Both my husband and I have no friends

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[quote=Anonymous]Hey OP, I totally understand what you mean.  It’s a lot easier to make friends when we are younger.  Pre kids and once the kids reach HS (or at least MS) things get a little easier in terms of finding and spending time with friends.  During the in between years, it’s really difficult to maintain friendships.  People you meet in kids groups are rarely actual friends.  They’re people that are thrown together because of their kids activities and not because of any shared interests, values, or personalities that mesh.  These “friends” usually disappear when the kids stop participating in the same activities.

I’ve managed to make a few new friends over the last year.  I had to meet a lot of people to do this.  I spent time with some people that ended up being more  acquaintances.  That felt kind of disheartening because I put in a lot of effort and time to try to cultivate friendships with them but they weren’t to be.  That’s perfectly okay but it’s still hard.  I have like two friends that I like to do things with.  We go out for coffee and talk.  Or we will have dinner together with my spouse.  I have a third friend who I had to step back from a bit because of toxicity but I don’t want to abandon her completely, I just can’t be as close with her.

It’s incredibly hard to prioritize friendships when your kids are very young or in ES because you have to spend all your time with your kids.  How do you spend time with friends?  How do you find new friends when all your activities center around your children and those children are the only thing that you have in common?

My new friends are not related to kids or kids activities.  They’re people that share common beliefs and experiences as me.  I hope you can find more friends. [/quote]

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