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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP this is as bad as. physical abuse.

You must get your kids out. I am sorry but there are no tools to make better a father that screams he's throwing his child in a pool and he knows they can not swim.[/quote]

he didn't scream it. he growled it from bed b/c it was early morning.

i feel like each incident is in itself not that significant. and that contributes to why i have not "required" some intervention before now. [/quote]

1) He growled at your kid in the early morning that he would throw your child in the pool? This did not happen AT the pool? That context does not actually make your husband seem like a better regulated person than the PP who said he screamed.

2) Tell him "Each incident is in itself not that significant, which contributes to why I have not required some intervention before now, but there is now a well established pattern of angry, verbally abusive remarks to the children, and I cannot allow them to be treated this way."[/quote]

This, OP. And as others have stated if you allow it to continue you are complicit. Your kids may not realize that now, but they will figure it out later.

These are the kinds of memories I have of my dad. When I was young I was scared of him and hated him. He mellowed out a lot when I was older but it was too late. I wasn't interested in being around someone who thought it was ok to scream in my face, even if it was only occasionally. I didn't wish him harm, but as an adult I rarely saw him and I wasn't sad when he died. I'm also somewhat distant from my mom and that increased after I had kids. Once I had my own children to care for I really could not believe she let this all go on. I honestly think she thought because she wasn't yelling too that made her a good parent.[/quote]

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