Reply to Wife stopped at associates degree and now working at Wawa

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe you could start by moving back to where you lived before, where she has family nearby and better job prospects.  The theme I see running through your post uses how you keep expecting her to make sacrifices for your goals and preferences.

Also, there is a pretty big disconnect between you saying you’re fine with her not working but also wanting her to put herself in a position for a better job by finishing her bachelor's.  How much of this is about wanting to save for college, and how much is your embarrassment that your PhD-in-math self is married to someone who works at Wawa?[/quote]

That won't work. My job allows us to pay the mortgage and save more. I need to be around big pharmaceutical companies. I'm not embarrassed by her education. Since she has an opportunity to pursue a bachelor's, it makes since to do it now. If something happens to me, she won't be able to pay the mortgage. [/quote]

So you’re totally fine if she gets the degree but then goes back to working at Wawa?[/quote].

Yes. Maybe she can move up to manager. And if it doesn't work out with Wawa, she could work as a manager elsewhere. In many manager jobs, you need to check the box for a bachelor's degree. She's not interested in a desk job because it gives her too much joint pain. [/quote]

While I totally understand and sympathize with your post, I think that you really are in some ways embarrassed by her lack of Bachelors Degree. You have a PhD. You value education. You want your wife to share that value. If models behavior for your kids, it makes you feel more secure with her ability to support herself, and you feel your own comfort would increase if she completed it.

It’s about you. It’s not about her. You can spin it as many ways you want as concern, but you can not motivate a grown woman with kids to complete a degree. My Mom went to get an AA when I was 1. She completed it and got a job (in a technical field). She then went to college every Saturday for 10 years to complete a Bachelors Degree. It was the 1980s and 1990s when she did it, but it took a drive to do it. You have to want it. If you force her, she will resent you. This is a concern you should have worked out prior to marriage and kids. If you wanted a spouse who had a degree above an AA you should have married one. I think finishing this degree was an accomplishment and you need to recognize it.

I’m not trying to be harsh. I just think you need to let it go. No good will come out if this discussion. You’re not wrong, but you’re also not correct. [/quote]

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