Reply to Why is it MCPS policy to not share discipline measures of other kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is because of privacy issues but I agree that there is some degree to which the privacy is counterproductive.  My DD had significant conflict with a boy in her class last year and her perception was that there were no consequences to the boy for his behavior, which just made my DD feel like the school wasn't protecting her.  Had they been able to tell her some of what they were doing, she would have at least felt like they were trying.

It is similar to how the school will call to tell you about an incident with another child but not tell you who the other child is.  My kids are older now and can tell me, but in most cases by time you get to upper elementary school, the identity of the other child really matters to the context of what happened.  If the school isn't going to tell me the full story, don't bother calling me.   [/quote]

OP here. Yes, my daughter basically believes there's no consequence for bad behavior at the school, which is heartbreaking. I asked her why she didn't tell her teacher about the incident, she said "They don't do anything about it."

I'm not expecting the discipline of the offending child to be printed on posterboard and hung in the hallways, but for the two parties involved, the victim and the offender, being transparent about the outcomes and consequences provides closure. Which is very needed for holistic and effective conflict resolution.

Instead, you get hand wavy, "The environment is safe" mumbo jumbo with no specifics that no one, not the kids or the parents, really believe.[/quote]

OP I say this with the best intentions and no snark:  Consider this an opportunity for your daughter to learn about how the world actually operates, as opposed to trying to change your child's immediate environment in a way that is not preparing her for the real world.  Talk to her about only being able to control yourself and not others, to use her voice to speak up when she is wronged and take steps to correct.  Try to redirect attention away from thinking about retribution/consequences/discipline for others.[/quote]

So...the lesson you want me to impart to my daughter is that someone who threatens and kicks her can get away with it and she shouldn't expect the school system, who is tasked with her safety and wellbeing, to take meaningful steps to prevent her classmates from harming her and accept whatever vague, hand-wavy reassurances they give regardless of if they sound credible or not?

Do you realize how depressing this sounds? You're basically saying, "Teach your daughter not to expect accountability in the institutions we're supposed to place our trust in."[/quote]

No.  That's not what I am saying.  I am saying that she should speak up when she is being harmed and that she should take notice of whether the behavior/situation changes.  If it doesn't, she should speak up again. What she shouldn't do is focus on being notified that the other party received some sort of punishment.  She should absolutely expect the school system to make a change- one that she should be able to observe personally, not through reporting on what happened to some other child.[/quote]

But the reason she's NOT speaking up to the school system is because she's not SEEING consequences for bad behavior. It's a vicious cycle that feeds itself. If you want kids to trust the system and tell when they're being harmed, you have to demonstrate how the system holds everyone accountable for their actions.[/quote]

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