Reply to Toxic relative is dying, I still don’t want to talk with him

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Reply to "Toxic relative is dying, I still don’t want to talk with him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of the older generation has the delusion that for family you must sacrifice your soul to keep things seeming loving. He is an abusive jerk. Just because he is family doesn't mean you have to forgive and be loving. You get to choose what you want to do. Better to work out with a therapist then have mom impose her rigid ideas. [/quote]

But in the short term, right now, OP needs to have ways to deal with mom's understandable upset and grief over this impending death. Mom may not be "rigid" so much as flailing to create some kind of positive (in mom's mind) in what is such an awful scenario. OP should not talk to someone she deems toxic, but OP can still be supportive and loving toward mom without contacting uncle. [/quote]
This.  OP is well within her rights not to reach out to her uncle, but I wouldn't take it out on Mom, who is grieving the loss of a sibling.  Be compassionate and loving to Mom, even as you decline to seek reconciliation with Uncle, at least until he shows any sign of wanting to reconcile himself![/quote]

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