Reply to Toxic relative is dying, I still don’t want to talk with him

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, you don't need to think about him, let alone see him, talk to him, or go to his funeral. Feel free to explain this to whoever is pushing you to reconnect, in your most acid tones.

My mother has a chronic illness and a significant disability that impacts her daily life. It's not her fault, but it has changed her behavior negatively. Long-term disease tends to do that. But the bottom line is that if there is poor behavior, it doesn't matter where it comes from - the victim is still victimized. I've had to distance myself significantly to stay sane, even though I love my mother.
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Worlds of difference between what OP describes as a lifetime of truly toxic attitudes and behavior from the uncle, and your situation with a parent you love whose behavior is altered by something beyond her control. Of course no one should have to endure toxic commentary etc. even if it's caused by illness etc. But have you talked with her medical team or caregivers if any, about whether there are periods when she is more her old self, and a visit could be more positive for you both? 
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