Reply to Anyone else here struggle with your feelings about ppl who don’t work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think sometimes it's helpful to realize that what you're experiencing is normal, so I'll say it: involuntary reactions to things is normal. It's part of the human experience. There is nothing wrong with you.

I would find it kind of annoying if my therapist just said "you need to figure out what is triggering you." I hope the gist of what your therapist said was more along the lines of "let's talk next week about what is triggering you so we can see if there is a deeper issue here causing your life to be not as optimal as it could be, and then we can work through it." I think getting help understanding why you feel the way you feel is one big purpose of therapy. In your case I think an Internal Family Systems approach might be good.

But as for why you feel the way you feel the way you feel: maybe you have a strong value of the importance of work, maybe you think fairness is important and it's not fair that you are working so hard and they aren't, maybe you fear you are missing out on something, maybe you think they are making your gender look bad, etc. There could be a lot of reasons. It's helpful to go back to values and fears. But I am one of those SAHMs who has kids in school and I've never been in your shoes, so maybe there is something more obvious I'm missing. [/quote]

I’m a working Mom and I love how you put this, so I don’t think you’re missing anything. I think you are really empathetic.

OP I am the same. I did work part-time for several years but I was never a SAHM. I think it’s normal but also it’s frustrating because I have good friends who stay home and they provide invaluable support in a multitude of ways to many people, including me. When something comes up in my head like that I feel ashamed of myself. It helps that we have talked about it to some extent. Everyone has a way of personalizing what other people do, but your aversion to the fact that you even think it is the part that makes it okay. We can’t help every thought that enters our minds. Just don’t let it affect how you treat people and remember that having a negative thought doesn’t make you a terrible person. [/quote]

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