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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]No but parents aren't perfect. Do you have kids of your own? Having my own kids has made me forgive my parents for so much.[/b]

When my 3rd was born she was so deliciously chubby. Her thighs were amazing. Out of love someone said she was "chonky" and so the older kids called her "chonks" for a year. She's 18 months and dh and I just nipped it in the bud. No one means anything cruel by the name, but yeah- referring to someone's weight isn't nice. But I can see how nicknames start and it's hard to end them. I still adore her rolls even though she's likely going to be a string bean like my older kids. [/quote]

People often come into threads like this to say this. But you need to understand this is not a universal experience. When I had kids of my own, I finally admitted to myself how much of my parent's behavior was abusive and wrong. Like for years I sort of wrote it off as "well that's how parents were back then" or "they were young and didn't know" or "they did their best." Then I had my own kids and realized what it means for a parent to hit, berate, make fun of, and refuse to support their child. And that's when I allowed myself to actually feel the hurt of what my parents did, because I could see from my own experience that even an imperfect parent (and I am an imperfect parent) can understand that you should not hurt or ridicule your own children.

Your example about your fat baby isn't the same. Joking about a cute, chunky baby is very different than telling a teenage girl that her nose is big and ugly, or repeatedly criticizing your child over their intelligence or weight. What OP is talking about is abuse and you are (perhaps unknowingly, because my sense is that you have not experienced it) trying to normalize it.[/quote]

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