Reply to I want my 16mo old to just fight back…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, during the holidays we had a cousin over who has a 18-month-old who is around the same size as my girls.  He was playing nicely and Beatrice went up to do what she does to Amelia and she grabbed his toy and he turned spring and pushed her hard.  She sat there stunned.  Cried and avoided him for awhile.  Cousin and apologized and thought, “Good!  She gets a chance to see how it feels to be on the receiving end!”  There was another time when another family member was watching all three when apparently Beatrice went up and bit the 18-month-old and he bit her back.  So hard it left a mark (but didn’t break skin).  Two more days with him and she never ever messed with him again.

Now I’m just wanting Amelia to do the same.  Like, push her back! Bite her! Don’t let her bully you?  And I can’t even believe I’m thinking these things?  What kind of mother am I?  One that’s totally desperate and loves and adores bother her twins but can’t let this go on anymore.  I’m afraid this is going to be their entire dynamic for life. [/quote]
I don't have twins so take my advice FWIW.  It might be a long time before Amelia is "able" to hit back.  Amelia will not be consistent.  Sometimes, she will let things slide, other times, she'll overreact and hurt Beatrice badly, and other times, she'll lash out randomly, (because actually, that's what she learned from Beatrice).  Beatrice will not learn her lesson.  Kids don't learn lessons from their siblings, they learn them from friends.

Separate them.

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