Reply to Spouse on phone constantly when caring for 1 and 3 year old

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Reply to "Spouse on phone constantly when caring for 1 and 3 year old"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t see why the earbuds are an issue if they’re all in the same room.

I’m a SAHM, and I find I have a dramatically different view of this than many working moms on DCUM.

1) hanging out with little kids becomes excruciating, sometimes quickly. A podcast or the radio in your ear can really help. 
2) playing with an engaged adult is good for them, like milk is good for them. Like milk, too much is too much. I spend a lot of my time engineering safe independent play environments and then intentionally disconnecting and letting my kid explore. Do we also do activities together, classes, etc? Yes! Days are long. Balance is important. My kid needs to play race cars with me but he also needs time to fall off a stump 10 times and poke puddles with sticks and pick at a sticker on the floor. 
3) your husband isn’t a babysitter or an employee, he’s their dad. You’re not responsible for his relationship with them. If you think he’s running it into the ground by not being engaged, that’s his problem. They’re fine. It’s not hurting them for him to play on his phone.

[/quote]

+1. And, going from full time work to full time childcare is a HUGE transition. I’d mention your concerns so he (assuming this is a dad we are talking about?) is aware, but not attack or criticize him. My husband doesn’t watch TV around the kids, but he does listen to a book on tape while watching them. He’s not the type to play “with” them; more “adjacent” to them if that makes sense. Like he will do yard work while the kids play in the yard. He’s present to break up fights or keep them safe, but he’s not going to climb trees with them. [/quote]
Good, but even better would be for him to engage himself in some sort of physical activity while listening to his book on tape. Examples would be repairing something, quiet cleaning, polishing shoes or anything else.[/quote]

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