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Reply to "Who should help take care of MIL? A very complicated family dynamic."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You all need to sit down and hash this out, OP. Most likely, they need to hire caregivers and find their own place to live. Moving MIL to a rural area isn’t a great idea *unless* there is outstanding medical care nearby - usually not the case, but there are are exceptions. Generally, too much is being expected of the women in this situation.[/quote] OP here - They do have somewhere to live. They can live at their second property which is about 10 minutes away from a small community hospital. There are specialists and primary care doctors in the area. It is a small area but there is resources available. [/quote] Got it. And if they move there, everything falls to FIL, correct? Is he on board with that? Driving her to every appointment, etc.? It sounds like a lousy situation all around.[/quote] OP here. Correct, everything falls on him. But ... I feel like I'm going to catch heat for this ... isn't that kind of FIL's role as her spouse to take care of her? It was FIL and MIL's retirement plan all along to move to their rural cabin and live out the rest of their lives in their retirement. They still plan on moving there. They just haven't made any kind of concrete arrangements and their plan is to continue MIL's medical care 1.5 - 2hrs away when they do move rather than shift medical care providers.[/quote] Of course it’s his role. It also completely sucks to be the sole caregiver for someone for over a decade, and with no end in sight. It really, really sucks. So part of me thinks he’s a selfish jerk and part of me completely gets it. It’s not unreasonable to want a life beyond caring for a disabled spouse for decades.[/quote]
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