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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have your parents fund a 529 plan instead. [/quote]

This. Simple. They contribute to a 529. One which, I hope, you already have set up and to which you are also already contributing, OP.

And OP, when you say you feel your DH doesn't have a say -- wow. Do you feel that way about other aspects of your marriage? Of course he has a say; these are as much his children as yours, and if YOU are aware, as you seem to be, that your mom will hold this over your heads, then DH is aware of that too, and does not want his in-laws holding their financial gift over the whole family's head for years and years and beyond.They will always remind you all how much they are doing/did for your kids. Even your children will end up with this damaging the relationship eventually if -- more likely, when -- your mother reminds them how she paid for their educations and holds it over them.

You can afford this yourselves yet you'd let it come between you and your DH? How strange. Say no to private school tuition, and say only, "If you would like to help educationally, feel free to contribute to the 529 college plan we already have set up."

You need to re-examine why you believe that only one spouse, you, gets to make such a gigantic decision for yourself, your DH and your kids. A decision that affects all of you--and only you get a say? That's a bigger marital issue and one you need to work out, regardless of this money offer. [/quote]

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