Reply to Mom asks for play date and then suggests my house

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[quote=Anonymous]Some people don’t mind being asked to host because they love to host and they don’t even notice the lack of reciprocation. Others get annoyed not only due to the time and energy required to host, but also the sheer principle of reciprocation. People who are in the position of reciprocating, but never do, will be able to take from generous people who don’t mind, or will be ostracized by people who do mind. And unfortunately their kids will suffer from this.

My kid has a casual friend whose mom is always sending out a text blast, “Whose kids are going to xx event tomorrow? Just trying to see if anyone wants to carpool”. It’s well known that she doesn’t want to carpool, she wants rides for her kid. She will also ask to drop off early/pick up late. If a parent offers to drive kids back from a game and drop everyone off at the bus stop, she will ask her kid be dropped off at her house afterwards. She has a full time nanny and doesn’t work, in case anyone is wondering. The reason she can’t drive or needs to drop off late or pick up early is always due to a dinner or event she is attending, and the nanny is busy picking up/dropping off her other kid. Her husband is either at dinner with her or travelling.

I’ve never talked about her lack of reciprocation with anyone but my husband, but I must not be alone. I have noticed that before school events, a group chat has come into existence without her to arrange rides for kids. I think a parent or two got annoyed and left her out on purpose. I am guilty by omission because although I didn’t start this group, I am participating and not telling her about it. So now when she sends out her blast text, rides have already been arranged on this other group chat. Someone will say, “Sorry my car is full”, or “I can bring your kid back, but you have to pick up from the school bus stop at 8 pm”. Her kid is still getting some rides, but no one is offering to cater to her requests to drop off early, etc. I don’t know her well, so I’m not sure if she knows what’s going on. I believe it’s a natural consequence of never reciprocating, but can’t decide if I’m being mean by not telling her. [/quote]

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