Reply to What’s more attractive: fit/athletic or just thin?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am naturally thin (not a result of diet/exercise) and have been very fit and athletic at times in my life, and also not fit at times in my life. But always thing because that's my natural body type.

I have had a couple boyfriends tell me explicitly during my "not fit" eras that they liked that I was thin without being super hard bodied. They liked that my body was "soft" so to speak. It had never occurred to me that this was a distinction a man might make, but I do understand it. A soft body feels different than a hard body, especially when you are intimate. There is also a power dynamic here. Most men like to feel like the more physically strong partner in a heterosexual relationship (not all) and a small, soft body is therefor their ideal. This is not a humblebrag, by the way -- this was a disturbing discovery for me to make because it is uncomfortable to realize that the man you are with values your physical weakness. It's a mind f***. I didn't marry one of those men, fyi.

However, especially as we age, there are fewer and fewer people who can be thin but soft. And so most men have to choose. Some choose soft, and actually like women who are curvier with more cushioning. They are okay with a woman who is bigger, and might even like it, because what they really like is that softness. And some choose thin, accepting this means a harder body. But I don't think most men really like a harder a body, most of the time.

IME, the men who actively prefer a hard bodied woman tend to be very fit themselves, and are often very physically imposing. They can be with hard bodied women and still feel like the strong one.

There is a tiny minority of straight (so not including bi men) guys who don't feel the need to be the physically dominant partner, for whom these rules don't apply. They are rare. [/quote]

99% of women are physically weaker than men. A woman who is fit/in shape is still going to be significantly weaker than the vast majority of men, even those who are not body builders. [/quote]

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