Reply to DS Is a 20-Year-old Loser Living at Home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's the pot. Sorry. This will go on until he stops smoking his day away.[/quote]

My stepson smokes pot with his friends. He's also clean, kind, getting As in college, does sports, is delightful to be with - I have no doubt of his successful future. It's not the pot.

It's not the pot, it's bad parenting/genes. It is surprising to me when parents complain about their horrible adult kids, because aside from mental illness (which is probably genes), the kid is result of your parenting and your genes! OK, so still not totally the parents' fault because : 1) parents not aware of or responsible for generational trauma at the time of procreation. 2) parents ignorant and maybe too dense to learn about healthy parenting.

Once you get to point of an angry young man, aimless, poor, punching holes in walls, I feel like he was failed by parents who failed -- not at discipline, but at empathy.[/quote]

Wow.  Just like your kid didn’t come to you through procreation, many kids are not biologically related to their parents. And many kids suffer unbelievable trauma, which may have nothing to do with the parents but explains dysfunction. And, how about those that the mental health system failed - either due to lack of accessibility or due to lack of knowledge about how to help. Way to pat yourself on the back for nothing while you blame people you know nothing about. And just how many years did you full time parent this kid that you’re taking so much credit for?  And how hard did you have to work to get mental health care during a once in a lifetime pandemic?[/quote]

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