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[quote=Anonymous]OP, thanks for posting this. I've been contemplating divorce a lot recently. My DH has completely withdrawn from me (except sexually, of course), which has made me crazy with anger at him. I keep trying to reach him, and he runs further away from me. We did try EFT a few years ago, but DH was so emotionally out of touch that I couldn't sit through the therapy sessions. He ended up going alone, and it helped for a while. But now he's run into serious problems with his career, and he's been depressed for a year (my diagnosis), and has withdrawn further. I feel like we're roommates, and that I'm ready to leave. But I'm a SAHM with no income, so I have no financial means to leave him.

I've been surviving recently by treating him as a roommate, and expecting nothing from him. He does a little cooking and child care, and pays the bills, but I do everything else. I'm starting to wonder if he has ADD, or some other clinical diagnosis I can't make. He did grow up with alcoholic parents who completely denied the truth about their alcoholism (still in denial about it), and blamed their children for the family's problems.

To the PP who asked how I could fall in love with such a man, let me say that he can be kind and sweet, and yes, he was more emotionally open way back in the beginning when we were dating and in love and first married, pre-kids and money pressures. As our lives have become more complex, I"ve been able to shoulder most of the burdens, and DH has only had to work. But I'm in peri-menopause now, and can't handle as much as before. Hence DH has been asked to help, and he's backed far, far away emotionally. He can't change behaviors built up over years.

I've been preparing to go back to work, starting training in a new field, but this will take years before I can make any money. If I had money, I'd leave him. I don't believe he can overcome his problems. I'm glad to hear some PPs have had success with their emotionally unavailable husbands. I'll look into EFT once more. Maybe it's my only hope at this point, at least until I can make enough money to leave.
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