Reply to Friend's 20 yo son being taken advantage of by 40 yo "girlfriend"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in the same situation- I was 20 with a much older man who would threaten suicide. What he needs is:

1. Support from his parents to speak freely and make his own choice, without pressure or being told what to do. Lots and lots of empathy.

2. Normalizing what a healthy relationship looks like. There is a TON of toxic messaging that you are supposed to stay with your partner no matter what, through sickness, etc. People are crucified for leaving a partner with mental health issues because they should be “helping” them. His parents can explain that’s not what healthy relationships are, healthy relationships make both people better and happier.

3. An explanation that suicide is a very real medical danger, the same as threatening to kill someone else, and needs to be handled by professionals. Calling 911 is an appropriate reaction, but if he’s too scared for that, he can call a suicide hotline and get guidance. Often the hotline will call the person threatening suicide.

I do NOT agree with telling her to “go ahead”. That’s not healthy behavior, and the fact that he is caring is a GOOD thing. He can have empathy for her and still get out of the relationship. [/quote]

PP this is really good advice, thank you.  [/quote]

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