Reply to Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]
NP. What is the deal with the gift giver receiving each answer the recipient/writer creates? That part is offputting.

But the basic idea -- helping people record some memories and thoughts for another generation -- is fine, in itself, though the prompts seem not to work for a first time parent. But that can all be tweaked, OP; you are not required by law to slavishly answer only and exactly the questions as written-- you do get that, right? I'd just write whatever I wanted, even a single sentence. And if you don't do it Every Single Week, what happens? I'm guessing nothing. Involve DH.

Before you do or say anything to MIL, I'd see if there is some way to turn off or opt out of the part where this software sends anyone else your updates. Maybe that can be switched off OR the weekly "report" sent elsewhere--like to an email account you create for it that goes to...you. At least check out if that's an option. If it is, do it (or have DH handle that).

Telling MIL (as someone said above, I hope sarcastically) that it's a "terrible, stressful gift" is a guaranteed way to sow resentment between you. Unless this is part of some pattern of trying to monitor you as a parent, and how can it be if this is your first child?, she probably meant well and just came up with a clunker. You're understandably reacting to the perceived pressure of "MIL will SEE every single entry and know if I'm keeping up or not." I agree with you; that feels like pressure, not a pleasant way to keep some memories for your child. But that comes from the way the gift is structured, and isn't her invention. Do you really think she intentionally set out to pressure you, or is it likelier that she just saw this gift, thought it sounded like a unique first-time-mom gift (at least it's not another onesie or baby blanket, she probably thought...) and got it without much investigation?

This is not something I'd let become a sore spot between me and a MIL/grandparent, [i]especially if the rest of the relationship was OK[/i].

Or just accept the gift, don't use it in the electronic form she gave you and tell her you use the prompts to journal for the baby. Done. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics