Reply to Rapid decrease in mom’s vision- what now?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad has macular degeneration and lives alone.  It sucks.  He just stopped driving in the spring.  I’m guessing your mom has the “wet” type if it responded to medication.  My dad’s is the “dry” type, so there was nothing to do at all, just…wait for the decline.

For now, he still lives independently in a smallish house.  He downsized after my mom died, but is not located neither either me or my sibling (10+ hour drive for both).

His vision is “good” enough that he can function pretty normally.  Reading is difficult, but he has a 36” tv monitor as a computer screen.  Apple products are particularly good about accessibility and we switched him over to everything apple.  He reads on his ipad with a massive font and a magnifier.

He has a network of friends where he lives and they check in on each other every day.  He’s able to see well enough to use a city shuttle service (like a reduced cost uber carpool for the elderly) to run errands on his own, and he’s mastered ordering from Amazon Fresh and Instacart.

I was going to eye appointments with my dad until recently and it helped both of us to be able to talk to the doctor and ask questions.  I’m grateful he didn’t hide it from me.  If you can, I’d schedule an appointment you can either be at in person or do a video call to see what the future likely holds.  My dad’s biggest fear was that he would be truly blind and living in darkness, and once several different doctors reassured him that wasn’t going to happen, it was a huge relief.  So just knowing what the worst case scenario looks like can be helpful.

I’m rambling here, but I’m in a very similar boat, OP.  My heart goes out to you, because it’s a lot – and to have it sprung on you is a real shock.

So far, a move to a facility is not needed for my dad, so I have no advice on that front.[/quote]

Thank you, this is validating even if your situation is different- it helps to hear of someone coping well. My mom has not downsized and lives in my childhood house, which is over 100 years old and has a host of ongoing work to be done. She is managing to work, but it’s a lot on top of the rest. There isn’t a shuttle service in her town. She likes meeting various Lyft drivers but is self-conscious about how much she brings home on errands. She is very reluctant to use instacart or any other delivery services and is weird about “people touching her food”, but we managed to get her to do Amazon for paper towels, laundry soap, and other basics. She won’t accept takeout delivery nor someone cooking in her kitchen. I think not having friends and having hobbies that are all based on fine motor skills and eyesight is the worst. She usually spends her time reading, doing calligraphy, doing embroidery, and painting. She can’t do any of those anymore and TV is apparently wobbly and hard to follow visually. Based on some other stuff, I believe that my mom may have some long-undiagnosed auditory processing issues which are the reason she doesn’t enjoy audiobooks or podcasts.

I need to get to her house ASAP to figure out what her everyday life looks like, but I also have a little kid who deserves a normal holiday and a husband who travels 3-4x/month for work and has a new boss as of two days ago. It’s a mess and I’m scared for what I’m facing. My mom won’t provide me with any doctor/medical info and won’t let me accompany her to future appointments if I’m in town. She says it’s her private business. [/quote]

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