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[quote=Anonymous]I’m married to an alcoholic. He’s been in recovery almost 2 years, but there have been slip ups, a significant relapse, and some gambling and other addictive behaviors during that period. Spending money, not other women. We have very young children.

I love him, I care about him, I want him to succeed, and I appreciate that he continues to work on his recovery. We’ve been in counseling for 2 years and things have gotten much better, but we are still in counseling and it feels like there is still a long way to go to get to where we’d be ready to stop. We are each in individual therapy as well.

One big thing that is a recurrent issue is the lying and lack of trust. Addicts lie. It’s part of their personality. They don’t just stop with sobriety.

I do love him, but I am only staying because we have small children, and I will never be free of him even if we divorced. It is in my kids best interest that I continue to work with him on our relationship and support his recovery. Now that they’re young I need to keep them physically safe in case of relapse (he has driven drunk with them in the car, and will pass out without feeding them dinner, or sleep through a smoke alarm). Even if we split when they’re older, I think he’ll be a better father and more likely to stay sober based on the work he’s doing now. But without kids, I would have left a long time ago.

Maybe your DH isn’t an addict, OP, but he’s shown you he is a liar and a cheater. He is not likely to change his stripes. Get out of this marriage.

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