Reply to Does your elderly parent take great joy in sending hate grams and spreading acts of pettiness?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is my mother!

She recently recounted to me how she was asked to leave the grocery store after getting in a verbal altercation about a price adjustment.

She’s also confronted her neighbor about petty things and then can’t believe they don’t act neighborly towards her and my dad.

My mother also refuses to take meds for her diagnosed anxiety and depression, and I often believe BPD also plays a roll in the way she acts.

I don’t have any advice. I’ve learned I will never have the relationship I desire. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t change her, I can only change the way I react to her. I don’t tell her much about my personal life, or that of my children; even they aren’t safe. I allow her a set amount of time to complain about the problems of her own creation, and then I disengage. (I’m getting better about leaving it where I drop it and not carrying it around, but it’s hard.)

Most important, I KNOW the way she acts is more about HER than it will ever be about me. It’s actually not about me at all! I’m getting a lot better at believing this.

Everything I do that she doesn’t agree with becomes a battle, and she throws daggers! I don’t tell her much anymore, lesson learned. [/quote]

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