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[quote=Anonymous]As a solo parent who had my first baby at 47 - I don't think 45 is a barrier. I don't have family support or a DH (but also no 10 year old kid) and it is fine.

I personally think fostering would be so much harder and did not feel equipped for that.  But I have a childhood trauma history and was worried about my ability to respond optimally to a traumatized child without getting triggered (and lacking any other support that did not seem like a good idea.)

I do know of people (single moms) who adopted at 45 so your age probably wouldn't rule you out but adoption has its own challenges.

It sounds like your DH would not have the bandwidth to provide much support for a newborn - would you feel resentful if you were doing almost all the work?  I wouldn't add this stress to a marriage if so.

I don't think a baby is going to help with your 10 year olds current loneliness - the gap is too great but as adults they could be friends.

I really want two as well as I understand how strong that drive is.  I think the "age" question is a red herring - it's really about all the other resources and stresses that a baby brings. [/quote]

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