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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds like you are unsure of what to do about housing but you are sure that you want to separate from him financially.

Based on the above, I would recommend refinancing into a 3 or 5 year ARM.

You get a lower rate and your "additional" monthly payment is lower than $1500 (this is the figure you mentioned for a 30 year loan).

You are effectively buying yourself 3 or 5 years time to think about what you would like to do and see how your money situation is.  While you wait, your kids stay in the same school system, stay in the same house and you see what kind of time you have to do your side hustles.  During this time, you can set aside $1500/month, instead of the lower monthly payment on a 3 or 5 year ARM (let's say it is $1200 for example), and you can see the impact that it has on your budget.  You can set aside that extra $300 into a savings account for emergencies or use it to refinance again if and when rates go down.  By the way, no one knows what is going to happen with rates so don't let anyone convince you that rates are going up or down.

Most people's financial situation improves over time so you may be in a better financial position 3-5 years out and that may improve your outlook on what to do.

Hope that helps!

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