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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here:  Saw the DR.  His advice is to not tell her anything until she needs to know.  Surgery is 1-3 weeks away.  They see the tumor.  It is big (I can see it on the CT Scan).  But it has not spread.  They still have to determine the approach to surgery, which will determine how long I am laid up.

However, she knows that there is a mass on my kidney (she was in the room when the ER doctor told me).  She asked me about it.  [/quote]

Best of luck, OP!!! I am the one with the dad with kidney cancer.  Just so you know---size of tumor isn't always correlated to its malignancy.  My dad had a HUGE colon cancer tumor.  We feared the absolute worst===esp since the CT scan then revealed the kidney tumor.  I think the Drs pretty much feared the worst as well.  Turns out neither tumor was of high grade malignancy.  They typed and tested and both were not expected to very aggressive or recur.  Type II Colon and I forget the kidney grade.

He needed nothing other than surgery for both, e.g., no radiation, no surgery, etc.  They were two unrelated cancers--not mestasis.  We got lucky he needed the CT for the colon cancer or we never would have seen the kidney cancer which was asymptomatic.

Two years later he is totally cancer free.  Many follow-up visits the first year, tapering off the second.  I think he was also told it was 90-95% cured from surgery.

Given the location of the kidneys they are less likely to go mestatsize.  I wish the best of luck!!!  I would take your doctor's advice regarding keeping the nitty gritty from your daughter until it is necessary to tell her more.  An older child- I might do something different.  I am in my 40s and I think I lost over a month of sleep and 10 pounds worrying about my dad.  Surround yourself with family and love.
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