Reply to Nonstop fighting at Thanksgiving, how do I make it stop?

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Reply to "Nonstop fighting at Thanksgiving, how do I make it stop?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I mean this kindly, but you need more therapy. Not to understand yourself or your parents, but to learn to set boundaries. You have a lot more power in this situation than you realize.

You don’t need to spend every holiday with them. It’s perfectly fine and normal to spend some holidays with you in-laws or your spouse and kids.

You don’t need to spend 3/4 days there. You really don’t. The distance is not relevant.

You can rent a car and an Airbnb.

You don’t need to be on a schedule at all. Don’t make restaurant reservations. Go to walk-in restaurants or get takeout. Host them at your Airbnb if you can’t take their clutter. If you must do some kind of activity that you need to be on time, then say, “we’re leaving at 6:00 and driving ourselves. We’ll meet you there.”

Don’t engage when they make triggering comments. “Mmmhmmm” is a full sentence. Don’t. Engage. You know it won’t end well. Nod and leave the room.

Visit once a year. Call them once a week on FaceTime and put the kids on. When they get out of line say, “we have to be at XYZ, talk to you next week!” and end the call.

Seriously OP, you can do this. A professional can help. [/quote]

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