Reply to Nonstop fighting at Thanksgiving, how do I make it stop?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Nonstop fighting at Thanksgiving, how do I make it stop?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]We started saying in a nearby AirBnB when we visit my hoarder, difficult ILs. It has made these visits so much more enjoyable and created some easy boundaries to revert to. Having our own space means that we can make food for our kids when meals with the ILs are inevitably late and not child-appropriate. It also means that we can retreat there at the end of the night for some time away from them. In the morning, sometimes we head over to their house early but sometimes we take our time or go in shifts, with my DH taking the kids over early while I shower and and get some work done, then I join later and DH takes a break at our house.

Initially there as a lot of resistance to us doing this but we were able to put our foot down when our kids were big enough that we could express frustration that the room they are supposed to sleep in at the ILs is full of stacks of boxes and random items they might get into. There isn't even a bed in that room, just a little space cleared in the middle for sleeping bags on the floor. We used it a couple times when DD was young enough to sleep in a pack and play and we could place it far enough from any items to pose a danger, but once she outgrew that we announced that we'd stay somewhere else until that room was made safe. It never happened. MIL will still sometimes express sadness that we don't stay with her, but then will say she can't seem to organize that room so oh well.

Once MIL asked if I might be able to help sort out that room and I said I'd be happy to but, full warning, the answer to that room is to take about 80% of it to goodwill because it's just a lot of old junk (I did not use the word junk) that no one uses anymore. MIL refuses to get rid of things and thinks the answer is just more shelving units and more boxes. They have magazine issues going back 20 years in their house. Anyway, she turned down my offered help and there has been little pushback to us staying elsewhere since then. Sometimes they even give us money towards our AirBnB, I guess out of guilt, though we don't ask for it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics