Reply to My girlfriend only wants to spend Christmas with her family. I think this is so selfish.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This site is bonkers.  I have no idea why the people above are ganging up on you.

First - depending on age, 3 years is completely reasonable to be dating.  I met DH at 22, we dated for 3.5 years before he proposed, and have been happily married for 25 years.  Those 3.5 years did not feel remotely long or dragged out at the time.

Second - yeah, your girl friend is being selfish.  At some point you figure out how to spend the holidays together, and that means sacrificing some of your time with your family.  Splitting the holiday between your family and hers isn't reasonable, given how far away your family is.  But it is totally reasonable to spend every second holiday with your family.

With all that said, I'm guessing you guys are mid 20s, and I don't think it's unusual for someone with close ties to their family to be really emotionally tied up with visiting family for the holidays.  [b]The first couple years I had to do things without my family at the holidays I was devastated.[/b] Like tears and depression.  And I'm a pretty stoic person.  We are lucky in that we ultimately ended up somewhat close to both our families so don't have to split things.  But my point is that holidays can bring out really strong emotions in some people, and her reaction - while not particularly rational - is not unusual for your age either. So assuming she's otherwise not selfish, I'd try and get through this year without holding a grudge against her. Then you get engaged this year, and before next year you come up with a plan for the long term - like alternating holidays.  [/quote]

I think this is something that OP and GF need to be aware of, and GF will have to move on from having to do every holiday and Dad's birthday with them. [/quote]

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