Reply to How can I tell my 10YO DD that I have cancer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]With all due respect, children do not always respond the way adults tell them, especially about things like death, divorce, cancer.

Not sharing that this is cancer is in my mind not hiding given the prognosis. If the prognosis were less favorable, I would tell my child over the summer.

With this fact set, I would not tell my child.

Good luck to you, OP.[/quote]

Won't work.  If everyone is tiptoeing around the house and the grandparents show up tense and spoil her... she'll know and the hidden nature of it will have repercussions on behavior and her sense of security.  Your wife can't protect her from this.

You don't have to tell everything, but you should tell her something and let her help take care of you during recovery.  I presume they found this tumor very early, so that your prognosis truly is excellent? Is there chemo in the offing? You can't hide that.  The American Cancer Society has great advice on talking to kids.  Use it.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, we told our nine year old.  We certainly didn't tell him everything, only that dad has cancer, it would be removed, and he'd have chemo and radiation.  We said that hopefully after that it would be gone for good, but if it wasn't, we'd worry about that then.  Mostly this has worked.  Our child does ask questions, particularly about his dad's physical limitations (you don't always bounce back from chemo).[/quote]

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