Reply to How do we NOT become like our parents?

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[quote=Anonymous]Caring enough to be this introspective and thoughtful is an amazing first step - really!

I’m certain that neither my MIL (who never had a MIL) nor my
mother have ever given one thought to boundaries, relationships, expectations. For these grandmothers, it’s almost always as a PP brilliantly wrote, “a grandparent experience.”

Here’s what I won’t do:

-make becoming a grandma be my identity and focus of my life because…

-I plan to continue working p/t and/or volunteering and develop and deepen my interests outside of DH and grown children

-I am independent and crave solitude:
I don’t “need” to be constantly entertained and invited along to every possible vacation, trip, sporting event, etc. like my own mom

- I won’t scorekeep with my children and grandchildren and the other grandparents. I’m not competitive and won’t make being a grandparent a blood sport as far as time and money spent.

- I love babies and toddlers, but I will not be providing daycare. Babysitting and helping when asked and if I can -
yes. See above: I want to cultivate a life separate from my
adult children.

[/quote]

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