Reply to Anyone in a marriage with an emotionally unavailable man?

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[quote=Anonymous]"I just don't know, and am wondering about this, that is, how do you fall in love with an emotionally unavailable man? How can you let yourself be vulnerable around him and give your heart to him when he doesn't reciprocate verbally?"

Not OP, but one of the PPs.  I think it is two things.  One, if you grow up in a household where emotion is not expressed often, that is what you're used to and you don't realize what is lacking until you're in a marriage, the initial love hormones wear off, perhaps the kids come and you have less time for each other, and then you feel the lack of connection.  Before marriage, you think that it doesn't matter that he doesn't express his love often, or has a hard time expressing feelings, because you're in love, he's doing other things for you, and everything is working right.  But also, I think emotionally unavailable men tend to be more available at the beginning of a relationship, when everything is good and their deep underlying issues that prevent emotional expression haven't come to the surface.  That is, he feels emotionally "safe" with you at first, and wants a relationship so works to express his feelings and connect with you.  But then things became less easy, he doesn't feel as "safe," and he slips back into his childhood mode of shutting down or whatever.

[I used the male pronoun but obviously this can work the other way with the woman being emotionally available.][/quote]

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