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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, and you guys are right, it was a hard time and my mom did the best she could. She needed the support of my grandparents and the lower cost of living. It was just the anniversary of my dad's death and I was having a bad day. I'll look into grief therapy. It's been 9 years and usually I'm fine, but sometimes the memories and emotions hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have talked to my mom about the divorce in the past and she did try really hard to convince my dad to get help before she decided to leave him. Like I said in the OP, I completely understand why she divorced him and do not blame her in any way for doing that. I just wish my dad could have somehow been a part of our lives more on a day to day basis. As some here have said though, he probably could have put forth more of an effort. He had a lot of issues and unfortunately he never got the proper help for his disease.

Thank you for everyone's comments. Many of you did put things into perspective.   [/quote]
Give yourself some grace too, OP.  You can absolutely miss the relationship you wish you'd been able to have with your dad.  That doesn't  make it anyone's fault.  Heck, I miss the relationship I wish I had with my dad.  He's always been technically present, but likely on the autism spectrum and just never connected.  He'd rather unclog a drain than have a conversation.  That doesn't make it his fault or my fault, but it just is.  Your dad had an illness and your parents divorced.  Cost of living was an issue.  Depression was an issue.  Job availability was an issue.  People are imperfect.  That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt or isn't hard or doesn't result in feelings of loss.  It can hurt without it being anyone's fault.[/quote]

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