Reply to What is a good way to help support an elderly parent financially?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spouse's parent is single and owns the home free and clear. Other than that he depends on us financially for all expenses. The issue I have is that spending is lavish. Wants to take first class flights (we ourselves never every took first class for example), wants to give expensive gifts to friends/family (things we do not buy ourselves) and generally very nonchalant with money.

Spouse agrees with me on this but unable to limit/control their parent's expenses. We send money quarterly and as does one other sibling. Parent makes my spouse feel guilty for not personally taking care of them after they have raised them all alone as a single parent. How much parent suffered, etc when they were children.

One approach I am thinking is to ask for a monthly listing of expenses and we pay only for all essential expenses. Does this sound reasonable or is it insulting?[/quote]

Stop sending quarterly and send monthly.  If you send $500/month and you get a $1500 check, it is very easy to spend it all within a month.

You have a mouth and you tell them no to first class and you limit the number of flights they take per year.  If they want to give gifts then they save from what they receive from you and sibling give and from their SS.

I cannot believe that you have gone along with such craziness.[/quote]

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