Reply to Blended families - how close are the parents/stepparents?

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Reply to "Blended families - how close are the parents/stepparents?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the child of divorce is older than your bio kids, OP, the best thing you can do is learn about age-appropriate behavior and parenting.  So many stepmothers make the mistake of getting judgey and blamey and resentful about what is really just normal teen behavior.  The substance of your parenting ability is far more important than whether you spend time together socially.[/quote]

This has nothing to do with OP’s post. [/quote]

The OP is focusing on something that doesn't really matter.  That's what it has to do with OP's post.

OP, also consider that the children may know (or believe) a different account of the divorce, and that theirs may be more accurate than what you think you know.  If spending time together feels good to you, great, but consider that the children may be working hard to conceal the discomfort that they feel.  They don't really have a choice in whether it occurs, and their true feelings may not be permitted by their parents.[/quote]

OP here. I appreciate these thoughts but they don’t really align to our specific situation. DH and I have been married for 12 years. Bio mom and her DH, probably 9 years. My stepchild was a baby when their parents split, so the child unfortunately doesn’t know a life of their bio parents together. It’s always been mom and stepdad and dad and stepmom, plus multiple siblings on both sides. The first few years were tough, bio mom and DH were young and could not coparent very effectively. It’s taken them  a long time to become on better terms. Since they’ve started communicating well, guess it turns out they really do like each other as humans! Lol. Fast forward to now, we all get along well and have started doing joint activities and events. Stepchild is seeming to enjoy it, which is all that matters. The point of my post was to see if others have such a close relationship with their coparent and family. [/quote]

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