Reply to Spouse yells and loses his temper with 3 yo

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Reply to "Spouse yells and loses his temper with 3 yo"

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[quote=Anonymous]There’s a lot of great advice in this thread. I will add that time outs aren’t just for children. When I was feeling extremely irritable, I would give myself a timeout to cool down. Let’s say I had just told my kids not to run around the kitchen island, but they did and they knocked a glass bowl to the floor and I now have shattered glass to clean up. Instead of screaming at them, I get them out of the kitchen, away from the broken glass, tell them they have to stay in the playroom while I clean up for safety reasons, then instead of immediately cleaning up, I take a 5-10 minute breather. Play music, lay down and take a few deep breaths, just clear my head. I can scold/discipline them later, when the mess is gone and I’m calm.

Another thing I’d do is to give them an unmistakable warning if I’m losing my patience. Little kids are not nearly as good as adults at reading social cues and noticing your frustration rising. Instead of screaming the 3rd or 4th time I’m telling them to do something, I tell them gently the first time, then firmly (but not loudly) the second time, calling attention to the fact that this is the second time. That usually works, but if I have to tell them a third time, I flat out tell them that this is the final time Nice Mommy is going to talk to them, and that if they don’t comply right now, Mean Mommy will have a word with them. There’s never been a 4th time, but if there is, I won’t feel bad about raising my voice because it wouldn’t seemingly come out of left field for them.[/quote]

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