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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have this dynamic except it’s my MIL babysitting infant/toddler niece and nephew full-time. The parents both work full-time and don’t have to pay childcare. That’s a huge chunk of change of free labor they’re getting. In-laws had wanted to travel but have no time to do so. They also spend their weekends watching the kids so the parents can go on a date or go away for the weekend. I’m jealous and annoyed that I didn’t get such help when my kids were young and that my kids have zero relationship with them as young adults. I am resentful and it has absolutely impacted my relationship with MIL and the niece/nephew family.[/quote]

PP, ignore that other poster discounting your feelings. My parents are exactly like this with my sister and her kids. They're completely co-dependent on one another and it will never change. My sister, who is perfectly capable and doesn't even work, gets free childcare, rides, vacations, a house, camps, money, logistical and emotional support from my parents every single day. My parents basically completely ignore my kids (who are older) and my children are pretty neutral in their relationship with them (basically don't care one way or the other, which makes me super sad). Childcare would be great, but it's the never being around, making and breaking promises to do things with my kids that makes me super resentful. My sister has acknowledged the severe lack of balance but said "I like all the help, I'm not going to change anything. That's too bad for you."

It is what it is, for me and for you. It's ok to be resentful, just don't let those feelings enlarge and take over. Live your life.[/quote]

You are spot on. I mourn that my kids hardly have any relationship with their grandparents even though they are local. One time, my daughter was working in the mall and my mil wandered into her store and said, I’m only here because I had to stop by the Apple Store. Then, proceeded to talk her ear off about the latest cute thing her toddler cousin did. She never asks or cares about anything going on in the lives of my kids. Meanwhile, she paid for college tuition for another grandchild, along with his summer camp, and SAT prep. She literally gave my kids one $20 bill to share last Christmas.[/quote]

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