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[quote=Anonymous]Are you being codependent toward Belle, protecting her from Ann?

Are you also being codependent toward Ann's husband trying to protect his relationship with his kids?

The thing is, everybody in this dynamic are adults. You need to accept this is their choice, and up to them if they want changes.

How do you feel about boundaries? I used to think boundaries are  pu Osment, for when someone does something 'bad'. But boundaries are also how we set out our needs and expectations. What are your boundaries around this dynamic? You do not get to set or state theirs, and it's not fair to assume you know what they or the kids need.

We all need our lives exactly as they are right now, this is what helps is learn and grow. You are in your life in your challenges, not what you imagine theirs are. They get to decide. They get to notice if they're recently or tired or getting annoyed with Ann. Not you.

You get to decide what you care about. Generally when we care so much sbout other people's dynamics that they actively and willingly participate in, it's because we are trying to distract ourselves from our own problems, issues, fears, traumas, needs, etc.

What's the payoff if you stew about Ann? You don't like it. GREAT. You are evolved enough to know that is a relationship factor you will not engage. But what is underneath this for you? Do you feel responsible for something, or protecting someone like you may have felt when you were a kid?[/quote]

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