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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does ANYONE who has a kid with "mild" Autism or "HFA" really feel like their kids are "mild" or "high functioning?"  Why do we keep perpetuating these labels?  They are so invalidating.  As a parent, I feel like it's our problem and we have to stop perpetuating ableism.  It is so much easier to say my kid is "mild," or "high functioning" or "on the spectrum" than to say they are Autistic, as if that is a dirty word.  I was guilty of it myself, but now that I know better I do better.  [/quote]

Me again.  I did not mean to hijack this post (I too, would like to find community with other moms of Autistic kids, level of "functioning" not withstanding).  I understand the points others are making - as the parent of kid with a Level 1 diagnosis I do not necessarily understand the challenges of a parent whose child engages in dangerous stims or can't independently toilet.  But I don't think the term "ableist" is a catch-all or a term to throw around to shut down the discussion.  I think that it is a good term to use because it emphasizes that a lot of the language we use is from a non-Autistic perspective. There are very, very sound reasons why a lot of the adult Autistic community objects to functioning labels, levels, etc.  My kid completely shuts down when overwhelmed (cannot speak, cannot regulate), does not have the executive functioning skills to shower effectively or keep track of any assignment whatsoever and struggles every day to be accepted and understood by neuro-typical people: family, friends, teachers, paraeducators, strangers.  But she's completely verbal (when not shut down) and talented in some ways that NT people can understand, so she's considered "high functioning" and the expectations for her are high.  On the other hand, someone who is non-speaking and engages in visible stims or other behaviors that are not understood or accepted are labeled "low functioning" and sometimes stuck in programs that are like babysitting and nothing is expected of them.  The book "Sincerely, Your Autistic Child" was illuminating to me.  It's a nuanced issue, I understand, but ever since being educated about this I just wince when people say "mild," "high-functioning" or even "level 1."  My kid hates it, so I'm somewhat influenced by this (it's my kids special interest), but I think we need to change the language.[/quote]

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