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Reply to "‘Help’ that is not wanted is not help"
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[quote=Anonymous]My mother is similar to this. Over time, I realized it’s a combination of needless anxiety, intrusiveness, martyrdom, and seeking validation through pointless acts of service. The only things that have worked to put her off these efforts to “help” is to tell her the task is already done and paid for, is a surprise (so I won’t share the details, etc.) or it’s being handled by my DH (she won’t pester him with her annoying offers to help or would back off after he shuts her down). We just went through this recently when she offered to cook for my DD’s birthday. I had to have several conversations that everything is already ordered and paid for, including food and decorations, and that she is an invited guest. I hear you, OP, so much. [/quote]
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