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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Divorce is harder when kids are teenagers. Boys also usually act out. There are a lot of studies on this. 
Divorces that are not high conflict and just want to put the kids first and not fight over every single thing are usually much easier on everyone including the kids. I’ve read that girls tend to fare better and kids usually do much better if they are under the age of 12. I personally think a divorce with an only child would be much more difficult than a divorce with a sibling when you can go through the experience together. In my experience the whole thing was pretty uneventful and seamless and my kids are perfectly happy and are exactly the same as before. But I have two girls and my kids are the same age as OP’s kids. We also did not tell them until everything was done and there was a place for them to live it was different we were not going to tell them “we’re getting a divorce but we don’t know what’s gonna happen”; we told them and all the details were sorted out so they did not have any anxiety about what was going to happen because we already had the solution.[/quote]

You seem pretty invested in believing that your kids find the divorce to be a non-event.  Wait until they are a little older - they will become much better at expressing their resentments.  You may have handled this in the best possible way, but that does not change the fact that it changed their lives and will continue to impact them even as adults.  Your narrative doesn’t seem to allow any room for their feelings, only what you want their feelings to be.[/quote]

I believe this poster has posted before. If so, they are very, very committed to this narrative of it being a nonevent and there is truly no room for genuine feelings the kids may be having. It really sounds like the same poster. Unfortunately it’s more likely ops kids can sense mom needs them to say everything is a-ok 100% of them time and there isn’t a lot of space for difficult feelings. Truly any kid would have a mix of feelings, even if it is all for the best and done in a healthy way, so anyone insisting the children had zero feelings about it probably isn’t making space for those. [/quote]

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