Reply to When do people stop inviting the whole class to birthday parties and how does that go?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of people in K just invite all the boys or all the girls. There are no hurt feelings in that case.[/quote]

I dislike this because it just reinforces the idea of same-sex friendships which I think is negative in the longterm. I'd rather my kid be left out of some parties as the invitation lists shrink then have a culture where kids are told that friendships are always supposed to be same-sex. It just doesn't reflect how friendships/relationships work in adulthood and contributes to misogyny by teaching boys, in particular, that they don't need to be friendly with girls or treat them as equals.

I have a girl and she gravitates to female friendships but she has made friends with a number of boys in early elementary and we nurture those friendships too and would totally invite those boys to her birthday. They might choose not to come or they might come and decide to leave early if they aren't into the same stuff DD is into (unicorns and mermaids) which is totally okay. But I wouldn't just exclude them because they are boys.[/quote]

It's not that the kids are only friends with all the boys or girls, but what happens in my experience is my kids are friends with a group of 5 or 6 boys or girls and really just want to invite those kids but then that leaves out a few of the boys or girls so to keep the peace we just invite all of them. Like my son is friends with half the boys in class and rather than exclude a few we invite all the boys, same for my daughter who may be friends with half the girls so we invite all, just in case. They may be cordial with the opposite sex but not friendly enough to want to invite them to their parties.[/quote]

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