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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Oh we have care arranged already."  Or say you have plans already.  Or explain you were worried she would not remember or mistake the time again.

When she makes low income comments about your parents, [b]"Have you forgotten they are millionaires?[/b]" [/quote]

No to the bolded - that's a gross thing to say. Don't sink to her level. Just say "They're doing just fine, thanks." [/quote]

OP here. This is what I do. I don't get into it, since it seems catty to respond. She actually asked point-blank a few years ago (right after it happened) how much my parents were going to inherit from my grandmother and my husband reprimanded her immediately, but she kept asking, and she had made so many comments about my parents' finances I told her it was a significant amount (no value), and yet she still makes these comments.

I am a little bit defensive in general about finances. My dad created a separate life from his wealthy family long ago, since he didn't want to be a cog in the family business and do the whole corporate life. I grew up with very humble means in, like I said, a VERY low-income but beautiful town. I have worked for everything I have, even paid for college myself, and while my husband comes from wealth he has not accepted anything from his family and is stubborn to a fault about it. I used to hold a significant amount of anxiety about finances. We knew my grandmother was wealthy, but I had no idea to what scale. Hearing my MIL make all these comments about DH and his sister attending a very wealthy, exclusive private school in DC and "how you just wouldn't necessarily understand the dynamic" just makes me really upset. She acts like I pulled myself up from my bootstraps. My parents both worked professional, middle class jobs. As someone who until the last few years didn't realize how much wealth we'd be coming into, and I'm not quite sure my parents did either, I feel like I still have a huge chip on my shoulder.[/quote]

Yeah, in my mind, I've told her once, and given it was an inappropriate question on her part, I feel weird repeating it, but money comes up in every conversation with her in one way or another, so it feels constantly patronizing and I just don't feel it's relevant to disclosure my parents' financial situation. It's not something I'd share unless I was with a good friend and it was absolutely relevant to the conversation.

Again, all she's integrated is what she learned when she met you, which is that you lived a low-income life and paid your own way. Apparently you haven't been direct enough about reframing the conversation with updated information. It's your choice whether you do that or not, but you're likely going to be irritated either way, because she doesn't sound like she has much social graces anyway.  If she knows your parents have now inherited significant wealth, she might become obnoxious in other ways.

So just tune her out.

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