Reply to I need to be more of a safety worrier

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re fine. I’m too much of a worrier and I’m convinced I’ve done harm by it and made my child timid. If I could go back I would do things very differently. [/quote]

+1. My kids are still toddlers (2.5), but I’m worried (ha) that my constant anxious interference will affect them. I say “be careful!” about 100x a day, and am always saying no to things because it’s too high, too dirty, etc.  How do I stop being like this? Serious question.  [/quote]

I give specifics rather than "be careful." So I'll say "duck your head" when they're backing out from under a table, for example. When they're running I say "Watch out for that mud puddle!" so they can avoid it.  If something is high, I ask how it feels to be so high up (with a smile) as I hold onto them up on the counter. If they get dirty, that's life - dirt can be cleaned. We have three rules about dirt: 1. no shoes household 2. wash hands when you come in the house 3. food only eaten in the kitchen or dining room. Everything else can be cleaned up. [/quote]

I'm betting OP wouldn't think to mention those things to her kids.  Like OP I occasionally wonder if I need to be more of a worrier, but I don't think so.  It would never cross my mind to say "duck your head" when a kid is backing out from a table.  If they hit their head - so what?  It will hurt, but then they'll learn to be more careful, and also get improved spatial awareness.  If they run through a mud puddle - so what?  That's a wonderful childhood!  Mud washes off.  My kids weren't natural counter climbers, but I certainly never hovered at the playground.

DH and I had a guideline we'd try to remember:  getting hurt is OK, getting injured isn't.  So if they're doing something that might temporarily hurt - let them carry on!  If they're doing something that can cause an injury, intervene.[/quote]

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