Reply to I need to be more of a safety worrier

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re fine. I’m too much of a worrier and I’m convinced I’ve done harm by it and made my child timid. If I could go back I would do things very differently. [/quote]

+1. My kids are still toddlers (2.5), but I’m worried (ha) that my constant anxious interference will affect them. I say “be careful!” about 100x a day, and am always saying no to things because it’s too high, too dirty, etc.  How do I stop being like this? Serious question.  [/quote]

It’s hard pp! The number one thing that helped me was that I shouldn’t intervene or say be careful or anything like that unless literal life and limb is at stake. Your job is not to prevent a fall from the stool, or down a couple steps, those are small things that come from practice and provide learning. If it’s not going to risk life or limb try to stop yourself from saying anything, pause, and give your kid some time to figure it out. If you need to you can stay close to spot without saying anything but generally this rule has helped me a lot to not intervene as much. Remember to your child “be careful” is just anxiety and gently telling them “im not sure you can do this!”

It helped me to remember I want my kid to stick with things and feel confident they can do things, figure things out, and are capable. And I want them to know I have so much faith in their capability. And saying be careful or intervening because he might get a cut prevents the cut or the fall but it doesn’t actually serve my parenting goals. [/quote]

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