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[quote=Anonymous]OP you are describing my older brother who, unfortunately, is now dead. His death was directly as a result of his poor choices, a trend which started, as your son, with oppositional, non compliant, violent anger issues, at home. He also raised a fist to my father.
My parents threw good money after bad sending him to one private school after another where he flunked out.  They pulled strings to get him into private colleges to pursue "his dream" and he refused to attend because he thought college was a waste of time and he could do what he wanted to do without it. My parents would not contemplate asking him to leave so he basically used our house as a hotel, coming and going as he pleased and taking no responsibility for his life because he could fall back on my parents for financial support. 
By the time my brother left home, he was incapable of making his own choices and taking responsibility. He, of course, moved in with the first wealthy woman who would support him and continued to do so over the years, moving lower and lower on the totem pole until he was living in really dangerous surroundings. In the year before he died, my father visited him and advised him to move away from where he was living because it was way too dangerous. Within a year he was dead. He wasn't doing anything wrong, just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

With my rather long story I am trying  to tell you that , though painful, you have to force your son to grow up and take life seriously. As painful as it will be for you and for him right now, the better it will be in the long run. The army is a fabulous option also. Please don't make the mistake my parents did. He has to realize early in adulthood that he is responsible for his life, not you. You have to also realize that how you deal with him now, will impact how he deals with life as an adult.

All the very best OP. Keep us posted.
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