Reply to Parent w/Stage IV cancer - can't eat at least 1 week

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is 75 and has stage IV.C rectal cancer, and we were told Virginia hospice would not accept her with an NG tube but that it varies by state.  If you do a care facility, you also would need to screen for whether they can/will take your parent with a tube or even IV nutrition - that might limit you to a skilled nursing facility.  Notwithstanding those limitations, I second the recommendations to avoid home care without a ton of help.  Even with my mom at a care facility with hospice for the last four months, the responsibilities on me as her only child with young kids of my own and an in-person job have been absolutely crushing - I'm physically ill and mentally unwell, with no time to do anything about it other than keep going.[/quote]

I’m the PP who went through the same, and I didn’t have young kids at home. OMG, this is awful! I don’t doubt that you are physically and mentally unwell. If you can take family leave, please do, but I’m sure you explored that. People think “oh, cousins, patient’s sisters, etc will be there to help but the reality is, that’s patently untrue in most cases. I went through this, and to a degree, still am. The difference is now I am choosing myself. I have told my sister and my parents: “I’m sorry this is getting and harder as you age, but I’ve offered many solutions and you refuse all of them. There’s nothing more I can do. You have to help yourselves by accepting help from others”[/quote]

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