Reply to Any way to do a "presents optional" birthday party invite?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always want to write that but I end up writing nothing.

I have also wanted to request no gifts or used toy but it sounded weird to write. One friend once asked for books used or new. I ended up giving a bunch of gently used books and also bought a gift.

[b]I think it is generally better to write nothing and then answer if people ask.[/b][/quote]

Maybe from an etiquette standard, but as a parent I very much appreciate when the invite is specific about no gifts. I would feel very awkward asking directly if I am supposed to bring one. Because it makes it sounds like I'm trying to get out of it. [/quote]

You should just always give a gift to a child having a birthday party.[/quote]

+1 why do parents in this area literally need to suck the fun out of the tradition of giving a child birthday gifts? This is a normal thing and kid gifts really do not need to be pricey at all. [/quote]

Why? If we have received gifts in the past (we usually say no gifts but some people still bring them) we end up never using gifts them bc it’s not what my kids are interested in. My kids get so many gifts - from us (the parents), grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, close friends of mine and their best friends will usually get them a small gift or make them a card… they are certainly not deprived of the fun of gifts. Now they are 8 and above, they don’t want gifts - they prefer choosing a meal, an dessert, and hanging out with their friends. [/quote]

That is fine if that’s what works for you but my kids are over age 8 and are absolutely still touched when friends pick out a gift for them. Their favorites at this age have tended to be books that friends liked and selected for them. I think it’s a wonderful tradition. Heck, I’m 41 and I’d be touched if a friend sent me a book she liked and thought I might like for my birthday. I think it’s almost ostentatious to say no gifts because to me it says “we are so privileged we already have so much and you couldn’t possibly get us something we would like” which is actually kind of what you just said. I think it is condescending to guests and deprives guests and kids of the joy and connection of gift giving. [/quote]

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