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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "What’s it like loving an avoidant?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The more you show them love, the more they withdraw. So the only way to feel reciprocal love is to pull back. It’s tiring. [/quote] It's SO tiring. It also always has to be on their terms - the expression and amount expressed. My SO knows it's difficult though, so he is very appreciative that I stick with him. He also has some fears from growing up that seem to make him test me - like he wants to really be sure I won't leave him or stop loving him. Took a long time to understand that this wasn't about me but his comfort with intense feelings and fear of losing control.[/quote] Someone I dated was like this. It was really hard to deal with. Only they were still early in recognizing their own intimacy issues and blamed it on me not being enough X, Y, or Z. Then they’d come back and apologize. It eroded my self esteem and I was in therapy for a long time after to understand how I got there in the first place. [/quote]
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